Societal Attitudes Towards Dating Disabled Persons

Society on the whole displays an open and understanding attitude towards people living with disabilities. However the picture changes drastically when it comes to dating disabled persons. Society has long overlooked the need for intimacy and sex of persons living with disability. This makes it very difficult for those with disabilities to express their need for intimate relationships and find suitable partners.

In recent time, efforts are being made by individuals and organisations alike to solve this problem. Disabled dating is a phenomenon that has emerged from these efforts.

Disabled dating implies that either one or both the partners in the dating relationship suffer from some kind of impairment. The impairment may be physical, like an amputated limb or a hearing impairment. On the other hand it could also mean a mental disability like a mental illness or personality disorder or a chronic medical condition like multiple sclerosis (MS).

However, whatever the condition may be, dating for disabled people presents its own special challenges. Research has shown that more people are open to accepting a physical disability in their partners rather than a mental or medical one. They feel that such disabilities do not make the other person very different from themselves and as such it will be little different from dating anyone else.

With more severe conditions however, the average person is confronted with a world that may be unknown to him or her. They are then unsure of how they will deal with the challenges that lie ahead and this makes them reluctant to enter into a relationship.

Studies on attitudes to dating disabled persons have shown that there are largely three groups of people. The largest group consists of those who would decide on disabled dating on the basis of the specific disability of their potential partner and how confident they would feel in the situation.

The second group of people are those who stress that it would make no difference to them if their potential partner suffered from a disability. They feel that having a disability would merely physically limit certain things their partner could or could not do but would not make him or her any different otherwise. The partner’s character, rather than his or her physical appearance, would be of greater concern.

The third group on the other hand, are very clear that disability dating is not for them. They feel that dealing with the disability would mean a huge responsibility, especially if it was a permanent one. They are reluctant to shoulder the additional burden a disabled person might present on top of the normal pressures of a relationship.

Once a connection has been made, the success of a disabled dating relationship, just like any other relationship, depends on the level of understanding between the partners. Even when both partners are disabled, it would be wrong to assume that one will automatically understand the other’s handicap, unless both suffer the same condition. A clear conception of the partner’s impairment and its implications goes a long way in easing the challenges ahead.